A Look into the Past…And the Future.
I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’m feeling the chaos of the holiday season. It’s not just the holidays, though. December and January birthdays abound over here (including my own), and that adds to the craziness! With all of that going on, I’m going to be taking a break from blogging for the rest of December and likely the month of January. I might pop in occasionally if the mood strikes and the timing works out. I don’t feel like I need to stay all in or all out, necessarily.
I will still continue doing what I do with plants, but a girl needs to rest and rejuvenate. I’ve been inspired by many of my planty and arty friends who are also taking this time for rest and creative restoration. I put a lot of pressure on myself to stick to a strict schedule and meet specific goals and metrics that, if I’m honest, are pretty arbitrary. Not only do I want to replenish my energy supply, but I also want to take some time to rediscover certain creative avenues and ideas that will add value in 2021.
Recently, I spoke to a friend who brings a powerful spiritual energy wherever he goes. He encouraged me to see these next few months as an opportunity for adventure and experimentation. To someone like myself who fights mightily to remain as grounded as possible, it’s very daunting to be told that it’s okay to let go of control. It’s not just control, though. He encouraged me to let go of all the “should” and the “have-to” attitudes that I’ve been holding so tightly. I laughed when he told me this. When he said, “go out and act like you’re 21 again,” I felt a combination of shock and excitement. Not because we’re on a stay-at-home order here, although that is very significant and I’ll honor it. This idea seemed absolutely impossible to wrap my head around at the time. He later explained that the lesson is more so in what I don’t do than in what I do. I could, in theory, plan an entire wild weekend out, only to find myself in bed at 9 pm on Friday night reading a book, just like I normally would be. To dig deeper into who I am, I have to dig deeper into who I am not. In order to find out who I’m not, I have to experiment. In light of the crazy 2020 we’ve had, he said this experimental attitude to self-exploration is relevant to all of us, not just me. Many of us have had solitude that seemed, at first, like a huge relief. Then the lack of social and physical interaction led to loneliness. For some of us, it brought introspection that inspired some big changes. There’s nothing that makes you think quite like being alone with yourself for an extended period of time.
I decided that this is a perfect time to focus on my exploration. I’m planning to work on a few things that I’ve been putting off for one reason or another. My reminder to myself and to everyone is that it’s never too big, too crazy, too late, or too much to let your intuition guide you to adventure and self-discovery. ❤️
This was a blog that I began writing on December 10, 2020. I never posted it (obviously) for some reason. I don’t think I ever really expected to take a break. A lot of that is because I do, as referenced above, put so much pressure on myself to keep to a strict schedule with blogging, or nearly anything else in life. I like structure, and I’m not at my best when I’m left guessing. Maybe this is why I have such fondness for plants. They, too, require structure to thrive. Consistent light, water, and temperature are appreciated.
I had expected to return at the end of January if I did, indeed take a break for the holiday and birthday season. Life happened, though, and my return was delayed. I’m ready to get back to work now, back to discovery, and back out of hibernation. Like many of us, 2020 was a year that I found especially challenging. I am an introvert, so it wasn’t the lack of social interaction that pushed me, necessarily. Anxiety about the state of the world got me down. I worried about my family. Something about the emergence of Spring has uplifted my spirits, even if it’s ever so slightly. I notice many of my plants waking up, and I feel the energy stirring around me. I might not be at a huge family gathering, but I can almost be in my back yard digging up weeds without nearly freezing to death.
I’m checking in to give notice. I’m back at work on new planty things. I have more projects and experiments lined up, and I hope to line up some interviews with inspiring members of the plant community who have kept my hibernation interesting for the last few months. I’m also going to get real and share which of my plants didn’t survive the Northern Ohio winter. I’ll be showing up as a guest on a couple of podcasts, as well.
As always, I love to hear what you think, and what you want to read. I especially would like to thank those who have commented on my posts over my unexpected time off. I have replied to most of you, and I continue to work on replying to everyone. If you have any suggestions, please let me know in the comments below, on Instagram, or via email.